Making Pizza but I'm a Pirate
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In this episode of Cooking With Ted, Ted Nivison is Making Pizza but I'm a Pirate. This is the most excellent and informative cooking show. I made pizza homemade, utilizing yeast, dough, mozzarella, and all the other stuff that create a pizza. I feel glorious. I feel reborn. Why are you even looking at the bottom of the description what do you have to gain from reading this dude.


    Every time i see the rum bottle in frame more seems to be missing from the bottle

    • Ellington Thomas
      Ellington Thomas

      This could possibly be because he’s drinking it off cara throughout the video, or emptying the bottle slowly for comedic effect.

    • Ryan Beardsleys
      Ryan Beardsleys

      @TinnierSpark326 then I reply to your reply to your reply to your reply to your to your reply

    • THEMaNIsWOrTHit


    • Dante Damm
      Dante Damm

      Crazy what happens when you drink rum lmao

    • TheRosieGhost Gaming
      TheRosieGhost Gaming

      Ted + pirate + pizza + rum = content

  • selmioio

    bruh u look like young robert downey jr

  • JouJneyArachmach

    u sound like young tom hanks

  • Remprixv C
    Remprixv C

    Hey if you see this. You are cool. 🤘👌

  • Kyle H
    Kyle H

    Wood fired pizza How’s pizza supposed to get a job now

  • miat

    forget the hook, my question is who in their right mind puts CARROTS in PIZZA SAUCE?

  • Raphael Trillanes
    Raphael Trillanes

    Lol you made me curious and do this for thanksgiving.

  • Head of a thousand sheep's wool
    Head of a thousand sheep's wool

    The music is great because this may as well be an Unus Annus video

  • The Englishman
    The Englishman

    I better fucking see a video of ted trying to cook a Turkey sometime soon

  • Drunken Sailor
    Drunken Sailor


  • Mitaki TM
    Mitaki TM

    I just watched a man suffer in 10 different languages, neat.

  • Netsu Dreams
    Netsu Dreams

    *me realizing he uploaded this 4 weeks ago*

  • Hello Goodbye
    Hello Goodbye

    Should have used the dough hook

  • Maluga Whale
    Maluga Whale

    Ted: “honestly this hook isn’t giving me a hard time yet” Also Ted 2 seconds later: “WhY dID I ThINk a HoOK WOulD bE GoOd fOr DoUGh”

  • BLindley2k23

    "No video has ever taken me this long to make" *Laughs in Nut Butter*

  • BLindley2k23

    "He Clearly Likes It!"

  • Ronan Healey
    Ronan Healey

    Why does Ted look normal in the costume?

  • Daniel Lubers
    Daniel Lubers

    Why u say fuck so much

    • Remprixv C
      Remprixv C


  • FallMusic

    Please get this man on the great British bakeoff

  • Claydon Cathorall
    Claydon Cathorall

    The work ethic is wonderful on this boyo

  • Mason Knapp
    Mason Knapp

    Don't worry Ted one time I cut myself with a butter knife

  • Christopher Doman
    Christopher Doman

    Honestly the hook could be a really good dough-hook, which is what you use to mix up the dough if you have the attachment for the hand mixer

  • NiBBa Lightning
    NiBBa Lightning

    Where is the peanut butter and jelly sardin sandwich 🗿

  • N3K0

    i literally got a pizza ad watching this lol-

  • yellow m&m
    yellow m&m

    the american version of wilbur

    • Remprixv C
      Remprixv C


  • Silent Siege
    Silent Siege

    I'm getting rum ads now thanks

  • fish swim
    fish swim

    gotta love teddy

  • Motivational Lizard
    Motivational Lizard

    Wait to does this mean that all of teds plans were to just poison pizza

  • FuckSmucker

    The hook literally would’ve worked better than the beaters

  • Orij

    If you'd think about it pineapple pizza might've been a pirates favorite pizza.

  • D’angelo Onfroy
    D’angelo Onfroy

    Anyone remember JehBerDeh or whatever. I think that name is better than just ted nivison. Bring jehberdeh back.

  • Dawson's Things and stuffs 2
    Dawson's Things and stuffs 2


  • William Ledbetter
    William Ledbetter

    Are you Ted Nivison?

  • EmilyCanSortaDraw :3
    EmilyCanSortaDraw :3

    I’ll take your entire stock

  • Photography Craze
    Photography Craze

    also as much sense it sounds to get the electrical whisker to make the dough, it doesnt' work very well, ive tried with anything but my hands but unfortunately, with hands is the most effective one to make a good pizza dough without any chances of there being shit in it

  • Photography Craze
    Photography Craze

    sorry but is sugar in pizza dough a common thing? idk but ive made pizzas without cooking oil and theyve been fine so maybe das a thing!

  • Gabe H
    Gabe H

    Why does he know william osman

  • SriFoo

    Since you did not milk a cow, and make cheese from scratch I don't count this.

  • Ana Cruz
    Ana Cruz

    Spoiler alert: he ditched the hook half way through

  • JackTheFlea10

    13:15 ok i was looking at the comments so i couldn't see the video at all and i SWEAR that was Al from toy story aka the founder of Al's Toy Barn

  • Kayno _
    Kayno _

    Wait, if Italy was the first to make pizza... ITALY PIRATES 🇮🇹 🏴‍☠️ 🍕

  • crissy s.
    crissy s.

    POV: you came from his ex girlfriend’s tiktok

  • Amelia Chastain
    Amelia Chastain

    I’m from TikTok...

  • Chan _101
    Chan _101

    i wouldn’t be surprised if ted was actually working as a secret chef as a side gig for youtube


    13:16 Ted acts like a dumbass

  • YikesItsElora

    he is the white dad R rated version of garrett watts

  • HCGosling

    That’s a nice pizza, mnnn just like my mama usta make

  • MrMs Anime
    MrMs Anime

    ey ted why not buying a real hook so you dont need a knife

  • Victoria Salinas
    Victoria Salinas

    Christmas edition: Building a Gingerbread House but I’m Freddy Kruger First video I’ve ever watched of yours I am impressed!

  • 3 unskippable ads
    3 unskippable ads

    "I present to you the greatest pizza making costume in the world!" *car ad plays*

  • yami supersleuth
    yami supersleuth

    Does Ted know that's not how you peel tomatoes?

  • yo hammy
    yo hammy

    Me with my gf 9:46

  • Robo Donut
    Robo Donut

    1:17 ad

  • Jebus

    It sounds like fucking Peter griffin is cooking pizza with me and I love it

  • Honestly_Ally

    i rly hoped this whole video you wouldn’t say a word in english and just talk in an ancient language.

  • saddly


  • luigi77714

    You know, as an Italian who makes his own pizza about once a week, I gotta say your dough isn't too far off really. Though a useful trick is to cover the bowl in which you put it with a couple of blankets while you wait for it to rise, so the warmth will make it raise better

  • Blubers

    dont say jfk assasination was faked i was one of the assasins

  • kata kankus
    kata kankus

    watching you make the dough is pain


    Some men say the water still hasn’t reached 180

  • VeRtOgO 711
    VeRtOgO 711

    Good job you tube mentioned ya

  • Lazy Beams
    Lazy Beams

    @Binging With Babish please

  • Kingshrimp

    It’s foxy the pirate Ted (fnaf reference)

  • Lindsay Schultz
    Lindsay Schultz

    Best opening ever.

  • monochromatic _child
    monochromatic _child

    my favourite part is how everything starts to go wrong but it some how ends up working in his favor as if he knows what hes doing lol

  • BavaDava80

    Whole video: NO NO NOOOOOOOO

  • Koni Keebi
    Koni Keebi

    1:34 okay, how many people made the bowling alley screen joke already

  • A_W_EM

    "i looked at po..." mhm yep 100% didn't think he would say porn at all

  • Simon Emir Santamaria
    Simon Emir Santamaria

    yeah the assasin line made him the best youtuber in my eyes

  • Pyruh

    Where's your eyepatch Ted?

  • sarahwhat

    My dad watched two minutes of this and said it was stupid lmao

  • noatryy

    I spent the entire video staring at Ted's microwave. I really don't know why.

  • yick2sav’

    0:38 big lion

  • Jennifer McKenzie
    Jennifer McKenzie

    Technically, people did try to kill people with tomatoes. So, someone might have made a pizza trying to assassinate someone.

  • Lizards_And_Jelly

    14:47 it looks like pumpkin pie

  • Its YourFam
    Its YourFam

    Some will call him ted Bundy others will call him ted copperneck

  • Admiral MacK
    Admiral MacK

    I read the title as “Making pizza but I’m a pizza”


    “Pizza has a long and accurate history”

  • Silas van der Merwe
    Silas van der Merwe

    you say you're making it from scratch but you don't even cultivate your own yeast? lame

  • Lora Jackson
    Lora Jackson


  • Wolfie Empress
    Wolfie Empress

    At least it was edible

  • KᗩI

    pozza/ 🦷

  • Womwom Monch
    Womwom Monch

    The more ted gets stressed he turns more midwesters

  • Neonstripe the Angry Canadian
    Neonstripe the Angry Canadian

    Why is Ted a better idubbbz then idubbbz

  • Aurora Dragon
    Aurora Dragon

    Ted where did youu get your glasses I want to get a pair fr my husband

  • ThatGuyAtMcdonalds S
    ThatGuyAtMcdonalds S

    Ted you should make a video of you eating every pop tart flavors and then rank them

  • Mrawesomeboss

    Yo soy yo soy el bano ted nivisiõn

  • Aiden Adkisson
    Aiden Adkisson

    Bro, pleaseeee make more cooking with ted's

  • Lukque.mp4

    Wait who is Ron Paul

  • Dubbio

    This reminds me of markiplier makes

  • Dylan Carlson
    Dylan Carlson

    5:56 why does it sound like Ted is trying to convince himself that that truly is how the original pirates did it

  • Jordan Wolfe
    Jordan Wolfe

    I like how unnecessarily long and detailed the burning pizza, dancing pirate intro was. Please make the next video’s animated intro longer. I want to feel like it will never end and then get strangely into it like an anime intro. Please, ted, I need this.

  • MilkyDude 23
    MilkyDude 23

    @BabishCulinaryUniverse hook this man up

  • Clarissa Benbrook
    Clarissa Benbrook

    it’s the “William i gotta go” for me 🤣🤣

  • Hannah Hoeper
    Hannah Hoeper

    I was fucking losing it when he used the tomato peeler on the tomato 🤞

  • Eliza Reyes
    Eliza Reyes

    Id love to see Ted try to master the art of sushi.....maybe some day

  • Anonymous Platypus
    Anonymous Platypus


  • grimegirrrl

    Ted the the ultimate chaotic entity

  • Caleb Adams
    Caleb Adams

    Ted is the embodiment of chaotic corporate energy

  • Racksor

    should have some better flour than bread flour (Tipo 00)